icefire8521

Hi there! Won't be back for long. Can't believe I haven't written a journal in over a year, and that I only posted a picture several months ago.

I haven't been drawing much, although that's not a surprise. The only time I have time to draw is during my creative writing class in between prompts, haha.

School has been taking up all of my time, as usual. I was diagnosed with depression at the beginning of this year. That explains a lot. Although I tried self-diagnosing 5 years ago, I never really expected a diagnosis? I was thinking dysthymia at most. But yeah. I had the opportunity to take medication, but I was over my episode by the time it was discussed. I might consider it as an option again if I find myself in another episode. My doctor doesn't normally prescribe medication first thing, but apparently it was bad enough at the time.

I started working more heavily in my current major psychology, and stopped trying to pursue neuroscience. It's sad, but I'm not at the state where I can do such heavy courseloads at the moment. I wish I was strong enough, but not now.

I didn't really intend for this journal to be depressing, but yeah. That's what's been going on lately. I've been striving towards happier days one step at a time. I didn't think I could experience happiness again, but I caught glimpses of it in the past few years and it gives me hope.

Hey guys... It's been a while. And I've found myself missing the people I used to talk to, reminiscing over the memories I've built over the years. And... it really sucks to be alone while remembering how I tried to hard to interact with an entire community, and actually managing to make friends here. It hurts, honestly. I want to try and reconnect with people, but they're fading from this site. I'm fading from this site. Every now and then I want to be active again so badly, but for one, I don't seem to have the time to sit down and draw like I used to. I don't have the energy to sit down and draw like I want to. But the biggest thing is, is that I want to know what it's like to be a part of a community again. I wonder if people here think of me too.

I knew that university would be hard, but I never expected to be this beaten down. University is very lonely. I've disconnected with a lot of people that I used to talk to simply because I just don't seem them anymore. We live in the same city, and I could contact them, but I don't know if I'll ever have those connections again. I sit alone in most of my classes, which actually makes my attention span worse nowadays. I grew up where my grades made up the majority of how people saw me, so to see them drop so rapidly crushed me. It's going to take a lot to recover from that.

I miss Mirz123/mirz333, IceXDragon, pixiepot, Phlum, BlissfullySarcastic, a-kid-at-heart, litecrush, Ravenswd, I-is-smart, Infinite-Carousel, Krissi001, Banjelerp, Waluigi-Prower, iAmoret, Nice-Spice, D-Kiddo/chocostein, Quolia, stuck-in-suburbia, Synfull, and many more from the emoticon community. I know I've forgotten some names.

I should also mention my trivia rivals, Tahog and SavageFrog.

Sorry if this is weird. Give me a holler if you're still here. Maybe we can talk again. Know that I still think about you guys.

Hey guys, it's been awhile since you've heard from me, hasn't it? In that time, I've graduated high school and have started my first year of university! I can't believe it's already been five years since I joined dA, back as an 8th grader. I turned 18 a few weeks ago, and I still can't believe it. I don't feel like an adult at all!

I haven't had much of a presence here lately, and I'm actually pretty sad about that. School has been eating up most of my time in the meanwhile. I've still been drawing though! I've got so many doodles collected from grades 11 and 12, and I'm hoping to polish them up sometime and submit them. In comparison, I haven't really done any full drawings during university, which sucks, but as of right now my studies are more important.

For my degree, I'm studying neuroscience. How the brain and the mind works in conjunction with each other is pretty fascinating to me, and I'm hoping to learn a lot! After that, I've got that lofty med school dream. I know it's a lot of hard work, but I'm willing to put in the effort in order to get myself there and make a difference in people's lives. The human body has always been an interest of mine, and I'm wish to take the knowledge I'll achieve and use it to nurture and give hope.

But for now, my first year is pretty tough and I haven't been getting the hang of it quite yet. I'm used to being one of the "smart students" and lately, I've been failing that title. I need at least a 3.3 GPA (a B+) in order stay in my program, and my grades range from a B- to failing. I've been struggling since the beginning of Grade 12 and it's been tough on my spirit. It especially hasn't been helping with my struggles with my confidence and self-esteem, but I'm trying to look on the bright side and get through things.

Anyways, how have you guys been? I've been lurking around from week to week, but I'd still like to know how you've been doing.