Dreams of Murder

Hello. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="25" height="20" alt="" title="Hi!"/>

Okay first of all, i'm sorry if this is a little mean.

I want to start of by saying this feels like did a cleshay, done badly. I mostly dislike rhyming poetry [with the exception of when it's done by someone who really knows what they're doing with it], and to be honest, this is no exception. The stanzas, kind of have different themes between the verses. Like they're little tiny hypocritical puppies.

But anyway. You also should have spent more time editing. You have a few instances where you could have chose better words. Like in the second-to-last stanza verse two. Where you say Stop I think the word Help would fit a little better. Because it makes it feel like you don't like it, but you know it's a part of you. Witch is the theme i got from this. As appose to Stop witch makes it feel like your fighting something [not a part of you], witch would fit if this is a poem about stopping people from getting hurt [Witch it could be, honestly it's a little hard to tell].

Like i said, there are a lot of spots on this witch make it hard to tell exactly what you mean. Like you talk about someone like this poem is about what you did, yet you focus on you, leading the reader to believe that this is about you.

Tis is all. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="21" height="16" alt="" title="Thank you! Thank you!"/>

Apples, Out!